Going... a little poetic?

let's show them love
let's cuddle them
let's care so much for them
let's allow them to express themselves
so i believe, likewise any other PARENT
we will continue to appreciate them...

Tigers love to tug on purple ducks

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The Child and the TV

Just like in the lives of the children too, the law of attraction tells everyone that we bring into our lives that which we put our attention on. The secret to life may be for one to put his or her attention on what serves better and take the attention away from what does otherwise. Among everything, that garners one’s attention in life, the television has been one electronic we are yet to conclude either to be graded under vices or virtues based on its contributions to the lives of humanity. But for the sake of this article, we are going to merely examine the effects of the television or TV in the lives of the children and the best ways an adult are expected to tackle this in their lives and extensively in the lives of the younger generations. There are some basic questions we need to ask ourselves like ‘What do I really gain from watching the television?’ ‘Those things I gained watching the television, are they educative or spiritually, morally and even physically uplifting?’ ‘Are there programmes I watch in the sitting room and quickly reach for the TV remote whenever my kid is coming in?’ ‘How much time have I really dedicated to watching the TV with my little one(s)?’ before we can begin to judge or categorise, because we often create a habit of watching the television no matter what it is that we are watching. It is just like talking and quickly judging others, while we stand aloof with the suspicious saying that, ‘What I watch doesn’t affect me. I live ways beyond it!’

 We get daily and different feedbacks from the television, which subsequently encourage us in making decisions that eventually stifle our think-ability and by extension our creativity. We practically conform to the whims and caprices of the television marketers and producers. They made us exchange our reality without any obvious regret for their high-powered sensationalism and video effects, and this over the years has been what the adults fight against in the lives of the children.

The child and the TV is one bound, one connection, that may simply be difficult for any adult to break. And the best suggestible way is for the adult to influence it positively based on the level of knowledge and susceptibility of the child and the expanse of experience in the outcomes of the various television programmes as viewed by the adults. Children may love cartoon programmes on the television, but the question is ‘How educative and influencing are these cartoons?’ in the same light as watching all these numberless comedies, because there are highly nefarious and debasing kinds of cartoons, comedies and slap sticks on the televisions these days. Of course, we all submit to the idea of freedom for the child to watch and choose his or her own programme on the television, after all there are families that procure the television, basically, because of them. But it cease to be a reasonable length of freedom when a child chooses a certain questionable television programme that may in any way facilitate or encourage thoughts like, love-for-the-firearms, hatred, racism, incest, and any form of Oedipus or Electra complexes, just to mention a few.

A parent or any guiding adult must learn to understand the connection between the child and the TV to a very reasonable extent. Virtually most of what the child may fall in love with on the television are plain high-tech video effects and sensationalism, indulgence and dreams, and we wouldn’t want to build the future leaders on mere loads of surrealism that may not even be advisable in some quarters. Thus, by all standards a well-tamed present will only lead to an approachable future.

Not a 'window on the world'
But as we call you,
A box a tube
Terrarium of dreams and wonders.

Robert Pinsky (1940 - )

U.S. poet.

On the Jersey Rain, "To Television"

    

Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

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Love child: how loved are they?

Children may be our most important legacy in the world today and our love to them may be the most important legacy still. However, it cannot be over-emphasised that the idea behind having a ‘love child’ is different; tilting more toward the parents’ common selfishness and personal love for themselves rather than the expected love for the child in the first place, even in a contract marriage. It is, no doubt, ironical that in most cases, a ‘love child’ is simply deprived of love, and could most times as well get the blame for coming into the world at the time he or she did. He or she is seen as an intrusion. An annoying intrusion to deliberately permanent what was not meant to be permanent or elongate a situation that should have been temporal. In this context, one can submit that in most homes a ‘love child’ is a child that may not get the most love, especially when the parents are divorce or just not living together as matured grown up adults. Nonetheless, there are ways to showing love to such a child bereft of love, so as to help solidify their future and of course our future as well. A ‘love child’ in this regard refers to a child giving birth to at a time that is not planned for which could in a word regrettable to the parent(s)

I. Spend Quality time with them.
Time in itself is a precious gift. It allows you to have mutual exchange of ideas, emotions, actions, physical concerns and words that help them develop and learn to confidently communicate like every other kid.
II. Strive to be the Primary Role Model for them.
Children generally need examples to follow and model themselves after, thus, teach them practical values by personally modelling those values. Admit whenever you make a mistake and apologize immediately with all sense of concern. Create a connection between you and the child by living the advantage of integrity over peer pressure. Which in turn makes them confident enough to always come to you.
III. Sincerely Listen to them.
A ‘love child’ might easily sees himself or herself as a different in the family, and in a separated family a woe. This might consequentially have a dire effect in his or her communication with the parent(s) or an outsider. Therefore, a parent(s) builds self-esteem in them when he or she shows interest in what they say. Children generally need to communicate the pride in their accomplishments and also their needs. And, a ‘love child’ is no different. If the parent(s) sincerely listens to them, they will also grow up sincerely listening to the parent(s) and people around them.
IV. Show them Discipline…with love.
Children generally need tutelage, guidelines and safe boundaries without being unnecessarily constrained. They need to learn the value of being accountable for their choices and actions, and a ‘love child’ is not different. He or she also needs to be disciplined with love. In fact, pampering has more negativity on them unlike every other child with no such ‘tag’ on him or her. Let them know that you disapprove of any kind of disrespect and hurtful actions but will always love them as any other son(s) and daughter(s). this kind of discipline enables them to recognize the best in other people and also allows them the freedom to explore the world safely in order to reach their highest potential.
V. Encourage them always.
Encouraging words are powerful for emotional uplifting and self-esteem. The parent(s) should verbally acknowledge child's special talents and accomplishments. They need to know we recognize and support their hopes, intentions and dreams for the future. By encouraging them mentally, emotionally, and spiritually provides the foundation for living a balanced life.
VI. Communicate with them.
We all have valuable stories to tell, and the parent(s) should not exclude a ‘love child’ from gaining from the wealth of their life experiences. Of course, only the encouraging ones that can help them to shape their lives for good. Experiences shared in robust sense of communication can help them make informed decisions and avoid unnecessary mistakes.
If one could sum up all of love child’s needs, just like every other child one would come up with just one word… Love. We share love when we play a central role in a child's world of learning, discovery and understanding of his or her natural environment. The legacy of love shared will have a guiding influence on them and the generations, thus making the world a better place.

Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

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Dads: What would you do?

Still on what we are discussing, what you would do or you think needed to be done, as a father, in some situations that happen in the home. Just like before, forget about the arrangement and realities of your personal homes. Let us share some thoughts or advice about what to do in some situations lined below;

What would you do if and when…

1. You discover that your teenage son suddenly got someone pregnant, and the person happens to be your little niece?
2. Your daughter kept running away from you, claiming she has a dream where you raped her?
3. You caught your racist neighbour ‘pants-down’ with your daughter?
4. Your teenage daughter deliberately asked and begged you to be her lover?
5. Your little child walks into the room while you are ‘erotically’ and ‘adulterously’ involve with a neighbour’s wife with the light still on?
6. You entered into your teenage son’s room and saw a knife, guns and a note that says ‘pay us a ransom of $50,000 or your daughter dies’ secretly hidden underneath a carpet?
7. You entered into the room of your son, who is supposed to be in the boarding school, and shockingly found him there with a girlfriend?
8. Your little son suddenly fell down while you are both taking a leisure walk in the park. You looked at the back of his head to see blood gushing out of a gun shot wound, and behind you is another little boy staring at you confused and innocently with a gun that just went off in his hands?

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

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Moms: What would you do?

Today, I just want to sprite up your mind about what you would do or think needed to be done in some certain situations that commonly happen in the home. For now, forget about the arrangement and realities of your personal homes. Let us share some thoughts or advice about what to do in the situations lined below;

What would you do if and when…

1. You discover that your daughter’s irrevocable penchant for fibbing will eventually end her life, without her actually knowing it?
2. Your child kept running away from you, claiming you are possessed?
3. You caught your adolescent daughter ‘pants-down’ with a boyfriend?
4. Your ten-year-old son tells you, “Mum, we were taught about intercourse in our sex education class today and our teacher told us…err… Nevermind. Mum, can I please have sex with you?”
5. Your little child walks into the room while you are ‘erotically’ busy with your husband with the light still on?
6. You shockingly saw and heard on the TV that your daughter, who just went into her room ten minutes ago, died in a ghastly motor accident some streets away?
7. Your daughter comes to you saying, “Mum, I’m pregnant, and the little baby in me belongs to…err…Dad.”
8. Your little child suddenly fell down and collapse with you seriously sick and laying on a sick bed? ....do you know that a financially challenged home can raise a child properly?

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When a child tells you… “You are stupid!”

In the lives of human beings here on earth, there is freedom, indulgence and madness! It now depends on the one chosen by the individual running a home. Traditionally a father and mother are expected to be the sole runners of the home. They are supposed to be the highest authority in the home, but these days we have come to realise that the contrary has been the reality. The authorities that run the home are far beyond the parents, aside the government and the set policies. The neighbours run the home too, although most times subconsciously and sinuously. The many peer pressures that circulate the entirety of our lives also run the home indirectly and likewise our feelings at a point in time, and worst still, some infectious programmes we watch on the television, thus it is like saying the television also runs our homes!

All the highlighted authorities have their different effects and influences, some are wholly sinuously destructive when not properly monitored. Now, to break these into the primary effects in the homes, which are what we can term the aftermath of freedom, indulgence and plain madness as regards a situation that could warrant a child looking straight into the eyes of a grown up, or a mate sometimes, and saying to the person, You are stupid!

Sometimes, for the sake of love, mostly the ones we never enjoyed from our own parents, we tend to shower our children so much freedom that eventually have them misbehaving, like the freedom to speak and be spoken to, to participate, to feel and touch and so on. But as children we cannot blame them for misbehaving because they are children not yet able to discern maturely. Engaging our children in the simple freedom to life is not the worst that can happen in our home. When we show love to them, we get their attention and love in return, but indulgence…? This obviously has a very distasteful colouration from the onset. Yielding to a child’s wants and wishes could backfire in the long run, and eventually depriving such a parent(s) the love and respect of the child. And the worst of it all is… madness!

I call it madness, because it has no other meaning to it. A situation where a parent(s) or the adult not only give the child the complete freedom to life, but also indulge him or her and worst of all involve the child in interactions and situations that are diabolical. The parent believes, he or she is only cementing the child’s stands and authority, but in the actual sense of it, such a parent(s) should be arrested for attempting to destroy an innocent child’s future.   

Let us try to highlight these below;

…in complete freedom to life.

A parent(s): Whenever your Mum and I are having a discussion with a visitor, you can stay back, okay?

A child: Okay, whatever you say, Dad.

…in indulging a child.

A parent(s): Whenever your Mum and I are having a discussion with a visitor, you can stay back to put on the TV to the best and highest of your volume, okay?

A child: Yeah, Dad, you are the best!

…in sheer madness.

A parent(s): Whenever your Mum and I are having a discussion with a visitor, you can stay back to kick the visitor in the face for not sitting properly, okay?

A child: Hun?

Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

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Using cursing words in their presence. Urgh!

The use of cursing words or expressions in the presence of the child or children cannot just be termed as being bad, but indeed consequential. There are what we can class as mild cursing words and some that are highly destructive and defaming. They are complete and inhibited show of fury and expletives. In any circumstance, an adult is not supposed to use cursing words, either mild or heavy, because like every other things under the sky, it has its consequence as well. When a child from a tender age starts to use some of these words, it tells on the homes and family from where he comes.

Some supposed mild ones might be;

• Hey Johnny, are you blind, can’t you see the door is open?
• Johnny, come right here now or else I make you suffer?
• I think you’re stupid there, Johnny
• Your middle name should be ‘Master Foolish’
• Hey you numbskull do I look stupid to you?
• I wonder how you escaped being classed among the stupids?
• Are you so deaf or just stupid?
• Nonsense!
• You are foolish, you know?
• Save me some air, because you stink!

While the more terrible ones will be;

• You are crazy!
• You are a big fool!
• Get the #fcuk# out of my sight!
• #fcuk# you!
• Are you #fcuking# with me?
• You are an #ars...hole#!
• You are a #bast…rd#
• May you rot in #h…ll#!
• You are a #muthafcuking%bast…d#!
• You #nigg…r%bast…d#!

Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

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A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

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What we see, and what they see!

It is no doubt a stale story that both children and adults do not see things or situations the same way. Due to the difference in age, level of exposure and some hidden personality traits, of which some might be genetic. Children see in a different world from the adults. We are going to have a table relating these differences below;

What the adults see…	What the children see…
A spoilt child who is always asking for too much	A person that deserved to be pampered
A garrulous child that pokes his nose into everything he sees	A person that confidently and articulately expresses himself
A rough destructive child	A person that expresses himself in play, after all, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
An unkempt boy with his shirt flying out and collar flipped up	A person that simply needs fresh and should have it, after all, air is free
An indolent child that only plays with her doll all the time	A person that learns her mathematics and grammar lessons through the process of playing the teacher with her doll
A child that always poke her nose in adult female magazines and always trying to paint her finger and toe nails	A person that always live after her mother, after all, Mum is always painting her nails too
A spoilt child that doesn’t know when to use the words ‘excuse me’ when he needs to use the plate	A person that also has the right to use a plate, after all, it is in our kitchen and belongs to my Daddy and Mummy

In the above table, you will notice in the column for the Adult the subjective use of the word ‘child’ as opposed to the objective use of the word ‘person’ in the one for the Child. Submissively, the child could be seen having a larger life size for him or herself, a fact every adults should understand and thus, pays the child some deserved respects.

Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

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A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

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Just ordinary with them: A case for issues

As earlier said any adult that must understand the child to a reasonable length must as well understand the saying, just ordinary with them!

They see and believe to the best of their experiences, or exposures. The gravity an adult may attach to a situation may just not be the same with them, simply because to them it is just the ordinary, like what you do not see or know do not constitute offences. When a child comes home with a Report Card and when he or she is coming home with a Comic or a Barbie storybook might not carry the same sense of importance. In fact, the Comic or Barbie storybook might be more important than the Report Card after all. They do not have such sense or importance or relativity, except when talking about the much older ones, that actually understand the Report Card as an account of all they have done in the school over a certain period of time, and the storybook as something for one to merely pass the time. There are some issues we will be considering in the light of the above topic, that says;

1. When a child come home with a ‘failed’ Report Card: He or she is probably thinking, “I wonder why this should really stop Mum and Dad from taking me out and buying stuffs for me?”

2. When a child comes home with a blackened eye: He or she is probably thinking, “But I fought for it, Mum. And I even won in the fight!”

3. When a child comes home with a big frown on the face: He or she is probably thinking, “I wonder why people can’t simply do what I ask of them, even when they have the money. Uncle is wicked!”

4. When a child comes home with cloth so dirty: He or she is probably thinking, “I played so hard today, Mum. And I’m very happy.”

5. When a child comes home with a missing shoe, bag, pen, book or sock etc: He or she is probably thinking, “I just can’t find it, so what’s the big deal. After all, you will still buy another for me or won’t it eventually get old and spoilt?”

6. When a child comes home with class exercises undone: He or she is probably thinking, “My teacher won’t let me!”

7. When a child comes home with another person’s shoe, bag, pen, book or sock etc: He or she is probably thinking, “Look, I’m smart, Mum!”

You might notice a little trace of self-centeredness in this, there is no offence because that is what the child ordinarily is, thus Report Card or no Report Card, they were designed by God, fate and the larger situation surrounding their lives to be just that.

Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

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A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

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Dealing with a Child’s failing school Report Cards

When a child continues to fail in his studies, a parent is tempted to say the school is not competent enough or the child is simply inefficient in certain areas, but in any situation, it is more important for the parent(s) to know and understand how to deal with a child’s continual failure in his studies and in the school. A child failure can be in different ways;

   (1) Failure in general academic studies

   (2) Failure in basic arithmetic and other calculations

   (3) Failure in relating with peers and senior members of the society

   (4) Failure in simple etiquette and morals

   (5) Failure in self-confidence

These levels of inefficiency can sometimes be interrelated, thus one can be a factor of the other; turning the child into a quagmire of confusion if not adequately dealt with by an understanding parent(s) or adult. A child can be failing in his or her academics because of certain challenges from home that rendered him or her short of relating with the peers and other senior members of the society, which might in turn affects his or her morality standard and subsequently the self-confidence is shattered. This is no doubt a chain of uncontrolled misfortune for the child who is blamed for this most of the time. People easily forget, or may not even care about tracing the source of the problem, because the child is not providing enough information for them to deal with it. Some children have developed thick skins toward their home issues, in this case, such a child might not be giving out enough for the society to really understand him or her, and thus deals with her situation as expected. In the honesty of it all, the child failing situation in the school is not a high-ended situation to be dissected and dealt with, it is a part of them, which must be understood by any adult around them, that their lives are about trials and errors, whereby the errors part of them should not result in total condemnation. And in some cases, people do not have the luxury of time to start making enquires into what makes a child flips, especially in a school where there are lots of them to deal with, and of course, the adult personal issues standing as a block as well.

The Report Card is supposed to give a detailed explanation or account of a child school activities over a period of time, and parent(s) or the adult around is suppose to understand that the teacher giving the report has only reported his or her personal observation of the child as seen in the school ONLY.

The parent(s) should have a better understanding of what the teacher might be saying or, in some cases, insinuating, after all, he or she stays with the child more than the classroom teacher stays, and should better understand the facts surrounding a failing Report Card.

To be continues…

  Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

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A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

“Agreed?” Then Click…here!

The Child as a little “goal-getter”

Children wherever they are prefer to live and try to understand their environment as simply as possible. When the Christian bible says in Mark 10: 13-14, that the kingdom of God belongs to the children, it was a proverbial way of telling the adults that for them to gain the kingdom of God, they have to take things as simply as possible. Children have their innate psyche, and prefer to go the extra mile to satisfy themselves even on trivial things. Now, considering the child as a goal-getter is the closest we can have toward a child fulfilling his or her desire to satisfy, irrespective of the obvious challenges or hurdle he or she has to scale. That is the reason when a father who has gone to work all day, returns to see the child, most especially the daughter, dotting over him in all manners like…

“Daddy, let me have your bag!”

“Daddy, when you’re not home, Uncle Dave came visiting!”

“Dad, see I can now walk with the POP. It hurts no more!”

“Daddy, Mum picked out a fly from the soup pot today!” and so on and so forth.

They want to satisfy every curiosity of the absent member of the family as soon as possible. Sometimes, there is the competition of who breaks certain news to that member of the family first. They become a hysteric goal-getter, especially when asked to carry out an assignment and eventually told to stop without any reason whatsoever. Children at such tender age as 4, 5, 6 and sometime up till 10 are generally believed to be hyperactive, or mischievous in some cases. And this is the reason, that when a child is in age 4 or 5 you even beg him or her NOT to dip hands in the washing basin. They are always eager to assist in the home chores, but the difference is seen at age 17, when you now have to beg them to put their rooms aright, and wash in the basin. Age and exposure have simply taken away the drive to learn and experience their environment by being involved in it. They have been deprived of that innate simplicity. They are now growing into adulthood. And this culminated into a strong reason for a parent to be more observant and careful in decision makings either at home or anywhere else.

Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

Click…HERE! to find out!

A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

“Agreed?” Then Click… here!

“Common Learning Disoder/pathologies: Schools and other learning Centres Situation”

In the last lesson we talked at length about what pathology is all about, thus today, we might not be talking much about the meaning of the word. Instead we go straight to considering the various learning disoders and pathologies associated with children learning conveniently in the school and other known learning centres. Learning centres can be a formal and an informal centre. The usual school will be a formal centre, while the Sunday school or the arabic school they attend in the evening would be classed under the informal school setting, where the tutor teaching them might not have any certification or expertise whatsoever in education. It is generally expected of parents not to neglect the child in his or her struggling world, or to leave the child at the mercy of the teacher, thus he or she lives only by what he or she was able to get from the teacher. In this case if the teacher is bad or substandard in any way the child emulate and eventually live this through the teacher.

Parents understand the deficit of a child, no matter how innate, than the teacher, and are in a prime position to positively deal with this as regard the child’s education. Some simple pathologies that may affect a child’s learning ability in the class are;

1. Attention-deficit-hyper-active disorder; In this case, the child is active beyond the ordinary expectation, and can be seen jumping around mostly without any reasonable or visible cause.
2. Dyscalculia; In this case, the child is seen extra-ordinarily battling with mathematics or any such arithmetic problems in the class.
3. Dysgraphia; a child in this situation is seen to be having a difficulty writing. He can be seen forming wrong sentences in spite of what taught in the class and also having trouble gathering his or her thoughts on paper.
4. Dyspraxia; a child in this pathological situation is seen to be having problems in the motor skills; such things as eating, writing, knotting, colouring etc are problematic to him or her.
5. Dyslexia; The child here is seen to be having problems in word pronunciation and the sounding of letters for example words like “POT” can become “TOP” to them.

And no matter how difficult a child in this situation(s) is, a parent, teacher or any adult around must never be seen making jest of such a child. Children in most cases will naturally out-grow these pathologies eventually with the corrective assistance of the parent or paediatrist in charge of the child. While those that live through it to their adolescence will thrive better when they have understanding adults around them, thus they are tutored alongside these defects, which they mastered and positively could turn around. There are cases of children suffering from some of these defects up to their adolescence and have successfully ingrained them to a point of invincibility and invisibility.

Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

Click…HERE! to find out!

A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

“Agreed?” Then Click…HERE!

“Common Children behavioural pathologies: The home front”

As sweet and cherish-able as children are, there are certain pathologies associated with them during this growing period. And if cares are not adequately taken, these diseases or abnormalities can extend; growing with them into adolescence and subsequently, old age.

Most of these common pathologies are related to those parts of the child development that are actions translated from the brain, and have to do with speech, as they are just learning to speak, the motor skills coordination and impairment relating to hearing. All these pathologies are what even a highly observing parent, or adult, at home may not notice at all at this stage in the child.

Some common definitions of pathology are;

1. Processes of a disease: the processes of a disease, observable either with the naked eye or by microscopy, or, at a molecular level, as inferred from biochemical tests

2. Condition that is not normal: a condition that is a deviation from the normal

3. Study of disease: the scientific study of the nature, origin, progress, and cause of disease

4. Disease: a diseased condition

Pathology is a medical specialty concerned with the determining causes of disease and the structural and functional changes occurring in abnormal conditions, and based on the behavioural changes in the child. Deafness or severe hearing loss in early childhood could be a typical cause for severe delay of language development. And, should be promptly dealt with through an appropriate examination by an ear surgeon or a hearing specialist. There are cases of childhood Autism, withdrawal and severe eccentricities, or early schizophrenia are now being recognized with increasing frequency by speech pathologists, child psychiatrists, paediatricians, and clinical psychologists.

Hereditary factors also encompass a great variety of genetically predetermined influences, including familial tendency to exhibit slow language development. These lesser functions in the brain could cause various damages to the eyes, the ears, having slow development of motor function; including clumsiness and deviation from normal cerebral dominance. Additional environmental causes include poor language patterns used by the family, parental neglect, emotional maladjustment, general weakness from prolonged disease, as well as various socioeconomic, cultural, and other psychological influences. Which summarily says, all these pathologies can affect a child’s behaviour; causing him or her to be unnecessary aggressive, memory blankness, forgetfulness and alienation to friends and the peers within the home environment.

To be Continue…

Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

Click…HERE! to find out!

A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

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“Children’s expectations of Parents and other Adults around them”

The world of a child is an interesting burden of expectations. If you have been in a situation where your child will have to ask you everything under the sun, then you are in that elite status of the finder or the know-all!

To the child every parent (and the adult caretaker) around is a super human they expect to provide everything, no matter how trivial or bluntly unreasonable. The child’s expectation of the immediate environment is no less of the child’s expectation of the parents; in fact, the parents are the first immediate environment the child cannot do without in earnest. As a baby, the child depends in totality on the parents for survival, and he or she continues like this while gradually growing into a toddler, but at a more defined point of view, that is as time goes on, he or she is able to define ‘personal wants’ more reasonably. The child silently expects the mother to do her duty of training her to take her first steps and experience the life of the adults in the best interpretable way and the father to conjure anything he or she wants from candies to the more complex toys.

The above would be one heavy fact for a circumferencial view on the radiation of emotion within a conventional family. Nonetheless, a happy family lives on the fact and reality of the flow of understanding within it; their continual learning to deal with each other’s short-comings and misdemeanors. And the recurrent show of impish behaviour and pranks, which in some cases can be seen in even the adults too.

The totality of what made up a child’s sensibility is the honest drive to understand his or her environment, and continue to engage in it by playing with it. They are yet to fully understand what consequences and effects are all about, and thus having no knowledge of any kind of limit whatsoever. In this light, a child believes in his or her touches or contacts with this environment. The capacity and ability to play with his environment, irrespective of what or who is affected by the consequence and effect of his play. Thus, a child also supplely expects discipline to be carried out by the parents and the familiar adults (they could respect) around.

“Blood really is thicker than water, and no aspect of human existence is untouched by that part of our psychology.”

Steven Pinker (1954 - )

U.S. cognitive scientist and author.

Now, in this stage of life the child is not deliberately trying to define himself or herself, instead he or she is trying to define her environment by simply and gradually analysing the parents, their likes and not. In other words, he or she uses the parents as pole of standard; seeing in the eyes of the parents, what the outside world is likely to be. Thus, if they like something, he or she automatically likes it as well and whatever they detest, she detests.

What the superior man seeks is in himself. What the mean man seeks is in others.

Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC)

Chinese philosopher, administrator, and moralist.

Analects

Summarily, the expectations of a child is simple, they want to be pampered in all ways possible.

Thanks!

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

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A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

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“Children relating with adolescence in life: A Synopsis”

Talking about a period in the life of a child that possibly troubles a parent; mostly by keeping them on their toes, then, it is the adolescent period!

This is the enthusiastic and worrying time for most parents, because at this time they know their once-little angel(s) that virtually keeps to their instructions and directions is now seeing reasons to act otherwise and challenge the reasonability of the parents’ instructions. Therefore, they are eager to satisfy the child by responding to all questions both the relevant and irrelevant ones. The child challenges the wisdom of the parents and displays a level of anger at being snubbed or under-sized in any way. This is what could be termed as the ‘being-par-with-them’ period; exhibited by the child towards the parents even when he or she knows the parent(s) to be seasoned professor in the areas of child psychology and development, they still raise a challenge. The various enzymes that facilitate eventual adulthood are working hard changing what the child used to know and making his or her body a strange phenomenon meant to be re-understood.

The drastic and continual increase in the body growth, shape, fluids and the gonads or sex organs are one thing that create a hidden fear and confusion in the child. He or she wants to start asking questions and looking for the right person, he or she could trust enough to educate him or her, without making jests or irrelevant comments, about the various recent changes in his or her body and life. And most times, this person is rarely the parents, and possibly in this condition, the mother for the girls and the father for the boys.

 The evident changes that obviously affect the psyche and thoughts of the child are tendentious, which means, whoever is dealing with the young adults in this age frame should have at the back of his or her mind, that there is tendency for excessive behavioural acts that might be offensive, inciting and questionable. They should never be deceived or taken advantage of during this enquiry period, because eventually that will backfire for the adult to regret. Crucial information and advice should be readily available. In other words, the adult or parents should go the extra mile to research and let the facts be known that, his or her advice to the child are as a result of a length of sincere research, thus also made to understand that he or she is not the only person experiencing such differences. It is a worldwide phenomenon and of course, your personal experiences can also be used here to lighten the situation with a mild joke. Once the child grasped the message and could trust you, the job is complete, and anyone would be surprised at the length he or she will go to educate the peers. That is how they while their time and exchange information, and when having such discussions, the parent(s) needs to give them the required privacy once they asked for it.

Parents should not bother themselves and become fretful; hearing about their child’s problems from a friend, because children at the adolescent age rely more on the peers and possibly friendly adults around, psychologically trying to extricate themselves from their parents’ constant monitoring. Nonetheless, this is not a time for a parent to stop monitoring. In fact, on the contrary this is the time for parents to make sure their little angel(s) is not deceived in any way by ‘too-know- much’ friends and nefarious adults around.

At sixteen I was stupid, confused, insecure, and indecisive. At twenty-five I was wise, self-confident, prepossessing, and assertive. At forty-five I am stupid, confused, insecure, and indecisive. Who would have supposed that maturity is only a short break in adolescence?

Jules Feiffer (1929 - )

U.S. writer, cartoonist, and humorist.

The Observer (London)

Thanks and God bless!

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

Click…HERE! to find out!

A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

“Agreed?” Then Click…here!

  

“The Children and Misdemeanors: Considering the Relationship”

The above topic would readily be a topic for which reason anybody, especially a parent, would rush to the computer to start typing into the search engines with the mind of getting a solution, and mostly a permanent solution, to the trouble he or she is facing on how to deal with Tommy, Freddy or Dave’s mischieves at home. An effort he or she will sooner or later realise is virtually furtile in itself, and would possibly start uttering salvo of expletives and disparaging words on the incompetence of information websites  or on the loads of substandard information dished out. Naturally, people want to type about their challenges into the search boxes of the computer and straight away get a 100% direct solution to their challenges. There is absolutely no crime in these or any other such usage of the computer. But for example, where there is seemingly a big problem is the fact that majority want to type something like ‘Dave deliberately pick his nose whenever his sister is eating, how do I stop this?’ or ‘Stopping a child mischieviously picking his nose’ and expect to get enchanting results like ‘Spank him lightly on the palm and he would stop forever!’ or ‘Make him eat fresh lettuce and he will stop it forever!’ or even still ‘call him Dave-rick three times and he will stop forever!’

A result that is final and permanent, or better still a result that is more of magic… he stops forever!

There is no such result on the internet, just as no true internet website or forum will give a 100% precise and strictly final response to a problem or challenge the webmaster didn’t know anything about first hand. He or she doesn’t know Dave, the extent he does what he does, the circumstances surrounding his doing what he does and if he has shown any kind of remorse or pay a kind of mutual recompense while doing what he does… there is just nothing to attach an arbitrary response on the internet with that of a psychologist or expert that has you lying on the couch for an examination. Thus in other words, children and their misdemeanors are one inseperable combination, where we may say one depends on the other to have an understanding of the environment.

 Children’s display of this, is just as natural with their age, at that point in time, as when they do their ‘poo.’ It just come. As they grow, they gradually learn the various proper ways to excuse themselves for the toilet, and therefore out-lived all the previous misdemeanors; a simple compensation any parent has on the children during this time of their lives. A parent shouldn’t let this debarr him or her from trying to totally understand the child or allow this minor attitudinal expressions to create a hinderance within the family.   

“All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

Leo Tolstoy (1828 - 1910)

Russian writer.

Thanks and God bless!

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

Click…HERE! to find out!

A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

“Agreed?” Then Click…HERE!

 

THE JUVENILE TIME IN A PERSON’S LIFE

The time in a person’s life between the tender age of 3 and 18 may be generally considered as the time of juvenility in Africa and some other parts of the world. And it must be considered also that different people have their individual and private ideas of what age to be classed as the age of juvenility. These could be borne from religion, common spirituality and a more condone experience with living with children; personally assessing their capabilities and therefore, using such to judge their susceptibility and reason(s) to be subjected under the control of an adult. We can also garner a general concept of juvenility from simple maturity. Since maturity is critically believed not to be about age, or having any axiomatic chain connection to been adult-wise in action and thought.

The juvenile time in a person's life is one cardinal part of the entirety of the person and any other relatives' lives. This is most obviated in the psychological, social and even the spiritual aspects of their lives, thus the more close a relative is, the more the effect and influence on such a person; this is to say that parent(s) and guardian(s) that spent their time mostly with a child or a teenager from probably childhood (or on a short holiday visit) sub-consciously find themselves living to the whims and caprices of the kid or teenager. A blatant case of a supposed controller, sinuously becoming the controlled. Children have an overriding aura to live a life without accepting any kind of disappointment or excuse. Such words as 'I can't afford it' and 'wait till...' are simply not acceptable, and a parent, now especially the weak grand parent(s) or guardian that conclusively want to live in peace will oblige them, because any other form of threat or measure of discipline brings up another tirade of disturbances.

A child can be manoeuvred as well as they can manoeuvre any indulgent adult, thus the innocence and charm displayed are all the synthetic method he or she has psychologically gathered growing up. Every tiger cub, as weak as they might be, gathered a surviving instinct and techniques in measuring up to their precarious, and obviously nefarious environment, so also are children. Without the parent or guardian, children are automatically susceptible to the environment they find themselves, and these simple schemes are their own God-given survival instinct and techniques.

Another eroding factor of the juvenile life is the copy-catting. Nobody could be as good as a child in copy-catting, they simply live and could obviously survive by it. They are like the fresh man in College, who in his first day in school was perceiving and putting to memory all what he needed to survive on the campus, even though the campus is friendly enough. The best bet of a child is that unconscious ability to take in physical features, instances and even ideas, no matter how extensive, in a fresh new world that is, of course, larger than the school campus. To the child the art of copy-catting is beyond the mere art of whiling away time, it is their self-made technique, and most other subsequent mental build-ups follow after this.

Conclusively, one can admit that the juvenile time in anybody’s life is that time things start to take shape; the psyche is built, the common sense and craft is built and the emotion is strengthened, likewise the physical body. 

Best regards,

 ...still me!

NB: Your child(ren) or siblings IQ can be tremendously increased you know...so, click right HERE!