“Children’s expectations of Parents and other Adults around them”

The world of a child is an interesting burden of expectations. If you have been in a situation where your child will have to ask you everything under the sun, then you are in that elite status of the finder or the know-all!

To the child every parent (and the adult caretaker) around is a super human they expect to provide everything, no matter how trivial or bluntly unreasonable. The child’s expectation of the immediate environment is no less of the child’s expectation of the parents; in fact, the parents are the first immediate environment the child cannot do without in earnest. As a baby, the child depends in totality on the parents for survival, and he or she continues like this while gradually growing into a toddler, but at a more defined point of view, that is as time goes on, he or she is able to define ‘personal wants’ more reasonably. The child silently expects the mother to do her duty of training her to take her first steps and experience the life of the adults in the best interpretable way and the father to conjure anything he or she wants from candies to the more complex toys.

The above would be one heavy fact for a circumferencial view on the radiation of emotion within a conventional family. Nonetheless, a happy family lives on the fact and reality of the flow of understanding within it; their continual learning to deal with each other’s short-comings and misdemeanors. And the recurrent show of impish behaviour and pranks, which in some cases can be seen in even the adults too.

The totality of what made up a child’s sensibility is the honest drive to understand his or her environment, and continue to engage in it by playing with it. They are yet to fully understand what consequences and effects are all about, and thus having no knowledge of any kind of limit whatsoever. In this light, a child believes in his or her touches or contacts with this environment. The capacity and ability to play with his environment, irrespective of what or who is affected by the consequence and effect of his play. Thus, a child also supplely expects discipline to be carried out by the parents and the familiar adults (they could respect) around.

“Blood really is thicker than water, and no aspect of human existence is untouched by that part of our psychology.”

Steven Pinker (1954 - )

U.S. cognitive scientist and author.

Now, in this stage of life the child is not deliberately trying to define himself or herself, instead he or she is trying to define her environment by simply and gradually analysing the parents, their likes and not. In other words, he or she uses the parents as pole of standard; seeing in the eyes of the parents, what the outside world is likely to be. Thus, if they like something, he or she automatically likes it as well and whatever they detest, she detests.

What the superior man seeks is in himself. What the mean man seeks is in others.

Confucius (551 BC - 479 BC)

Chinese philosopher, administrator, and moralist.

Analects

Summarily, the expectations of a child is simple, they want to be pampered in all ways possible.

Thanks!

Samuel Solomon O.

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“Children relating with adolescence in life: A Synopsis”

Talking about a period in the life of a child that possibly troubles a parent; mostly by keeping them on their toes, then, it is the adolescent period!

This is the enthusiastic and worrying time for most parents, because at this time they know their once-little angel(s) that virtually keeps to their instructions and directions is now seeing reasons to act otherwise and challenge the reasonability of the parents’ instructions. Therefore, they are eager to satisfy the child by responding to all questions both the relevant and irrelevant ones. The child challenges the wisdom of the parents and displays a level of anger at being snubbed or under-sized in any way. This is what could be termed as the ‘being-par-with-them’ period; exhibited by the child towards the parents even when he or she knows the parent(s) to be seasoned professor in the areas of child psychology and development, they still raise a challenge. The various enzymes that facilitate eventual adulthood are working hard changing what the child used to know and making his or her body a strange phenomenon meant to be re-understood.

The drastic and continual increase in the body growth, shape, fluids and the gonads or sex organs are one thing that create a hidden fear and confusion in the child. He or she wants to start asking questions and looking for the right person, he or she could trust enough to educate him or her, without making jests or irrelevant comments, about the various recent changes in his or her body and life. And most times, this person is rarely the parents, and possibly in this condition, the mother for the girls and the father for the boys.

 The evident changes that obviously affect the psyche and thoughts of the child are tendentious, which means, whoever is dealing with the young adults in this age frame should have at the back of his or her mind, that there is tendency for excessive behavioural acts that might be offensive, inciting and questionable. They should never be deceived or taken advantage of during this enquiry period, because eventually that will backfire for the adult to regret. Crucial information and advice should be readily available. In other words, the adult or parents should go the extra mile to research and let the facts be known that, his or her advice to the child are as a result of a length of sincere research, thus also made to understand that he or she is not the only person experiencing such differences. It is a worldwide phenomenon and of course, your personal experiences can also be used here to lighten the situation with a mild joke. Once the child grasped the message and could trust you, the job is complete, and anyone would be surprised at the length he or she will go to educate the peers. That is how they while their time and exchange information, and when having such discussions, the parent(s) needs to give them the required privacy once they asked for it.

Parents should not bother themselves and become fretful; hearing about their child’s problems from a friend, because children at the adolescent age rely more on the peers and possibly friendly adults around, psychologically trying to extricate themselves from their parents’ constant monitoring. Nonetheless, this is not a time for a parent to stop monitoring. In fact, on the contrary this is the time for parents to make sure their little angel(s) is not deceived in any way by ‘too-know- much’ friends and nefarious adults around.

At sixteen I was stupid, confused, insecure, and indecisive. At twenty-five I was wise, self-confident, prepossessing, and assertive. At forty-five I am stupid, confused, insecure, and indecisive. Who would have supposed that maturity is only a short break in adolescence?

Jules Feiffer (1929 - )

U.S. writer, cartoonist, and humorist.

The Observer (London)

Thanks and God bless!

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

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A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

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“The Children and Misdemeanors: Considering the Relationship”

The above topic would readily be a topic for which reason anybody, especially a parent, would rush to the computer to start typing into the search engines with the mind of getting a solution, and mostly a permanent solution, to the trouble he or she is facing on how to deal with Tommy, Freddy or Dave’s mischieves at home. An effort he or she will sooner or later realise is virtually furtile in itself, and would possibly start uttering salvo of expletives and disparaging words on the incompetence of information websites  or on the loads of substandard information dished out. Naturally, people want to type about their challenges into the search boxes of the computer and straight away get a 100% direct solution to their challenges. There is absolutely no crime in these or any other such usage of the computer. But for example, where there is seemingly a big problem is the fact that majority want to type something like ‘Dave deliberately pick his nose whenever his sister is eating, how do I stop this?’ or ‘Stopping a child mischieviously picking his nose’ and expect to get enchanting results like ‘Spank him lightly on the palm and he would stop forever!’ or ‘Make him eat fresh lettuce and he will stop it forever!’ or even still ‘call him Dave-rick three times and he will stop forever!’

A result that is final and permanent, or better still a result that is more of magic… he stops forever!

There is no such result on the internet, just as no true internet website or forum will give a 100% precise and strictly final response to a problem or challenge the webmaster didn’t know anything about first hand. He or she doesn’t know Dave, the extent he does what he does, the circumstances surrounding his doing what he does and if he has shown any kind of remorse or pay a kind of mutual recompense while doing what he does… there is just nothing to attach an arbitrary response on the internet with that of a psychologist or expert that has you lying on the couch for an examination. Thus in other words, children and their misdemeanors are one inseperable combination, where we may say one depends on the other to have an understanding of the environment.

 Children’s display of this, is just as natural with their age, at that point in time, as when they do their ‘poo.’ It just come. As they grow, they gradually learn the various proper ways to excuse themselves for the toilet, and therefore out-lived all the previous misdemeanors; a simple compensation any parent has on the children during this time of their lives. A parent shouldn’t let this debarr him or her from trying to totally understand the child or allow this minor attitudinal expressions to create a hinderance within the family.   

“All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

Leo Tolstoy (1828 - 1910)

Russian writer.

Thanks and God bless!

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

Click…HERE! to find out!

A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

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THE JUVENILE TIME IN A PERSON’S LIFE

The time in a person’s life between the tender age of 3 and 18 may be generally considered as the time of juvenility in Africa and some other parts of the world. And it must be considered also that different people have their individual and private ideas of what age to be classed as the age of juvenility. These could be borne from religion, common spirituality and a more condone experience with living with children; personally assessing their capabilities and therefore, using such to judge their susceptibility and reason(s) to be subjected under the control of an adult. We can also garner a general concept of juvenility from simple maturity. Since maturity is critically believed not to be about age, or having any axiomatic chain connection to been adult-wise in action and thought.

The juvenile time in a person's life is one cardinal part of the entirety of the person and any other relatives' lives. This is most obviated in the psychological, social and even the spiritual aspects of their lives, thus the more close a relative is, the more the effect and influence on such a person; this is to say that parent(s) and guardian(s) that spent their time mostly with a child or a teenager from probably childhood (or on a short holiday visit) sub-consciously find themselves living to the whims and caprices of the kid or teenager. A blatant case of a supposed controller, sinuously becoming the controlled. Children have an overriding aura to live a life without accepting any kind of disappointment or excuse. Such words as 'I can't afford it' and 'wait till...' are simply not acceptable, and a parent, now especially the weak grand parent(s) or guardian that conclusively want to live in peace will oblige them, because any other form of threat or measure of discipline brings up another tirade of disturbances.

A child can be manoeuvred as well as they can manoeuvre any indulgent adult, thus the innocence and charm displayed are all the synthetic method he or she has psychologically gathered growing up. Every tiger cub, as weak as they might be, gathered a surviving instinct and techniques in measuring up to their precarious, and obviously nefarious environment, so also are children. Without the parent or guardian, children are automatically susceptible to the environment they find themselves, and these simple schemes are their own God-given survival instinct and techniques.

Another eroding factor of the juvenile life is the copy-catting. Nobody could be as good as a child in copy-catting, they simply live and could obviously survive by it. They are like the fresh man in College, who in his first day in school was perceiving and putting to memory all what he needed to survive on the campus, even though the campus is friendly enough. The best bet of a child is that unconscious ability to take in physical features, instances and even ideas, no matter how extensive, in a fresh new world that is, of course, larger than the school campus. To the child the art of copy-catting is beyond the mere art of whiling away time, it is their self-made technique, and most other subsequent mental build-ups follow after this.

Conclusively, one can admit that the juvenile time in anybody’s life is that time things start to take shape; the psyche is built, the common sense and craft is built and the emotion is strengthened, likewise the physical body. 

Best regards,

 ...still me!

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“The Benefits of Motherhood, Fatherhood and Childhood: A Discourse”

  

The benefit of motherhood, fatherhood and the childhood in the life of a human is more summarised in the entire benefit of a family as a whole, irrespective of what and who any member of that family is, or is bound by necessity to provide.

A family by any larger definition is like a ‘near-forced’ composite of psychological-cum-orientationally different individuals, but related biologically and by the essense of such family in the first place. It can also be sub-defined as Rose Macaulay puts it…

“A group of closely related persons living under one roof; it is a convenience, often a necessity, sometimes a pleasure, sometimes the reverse; but who first exalted it as admirable, an almost religious ideal?”

The above definition by Macaulay prompted some questions even as she has on her own ended with a question. Firstly, living under a same roof, by virtue of all other circumstances, is no longer a standard for the modern day family. Secondly, the idea of a family members being closely related in today kind of family is also debatable in some quarters, where we have family of convenience and contract, and about who first exalted it to the status of a religious ideal is also far-fetched. Although, God is generally believed to be the author of the idea ‘family’ and probably can be termed as the first to give it the religiousity it might generally enjoy today.

In a family, the mother is stealthily the custodian of the entire family orientation and virtue. She is by custom the second in chain of authority and yet, could be the most vocal and decisive of all the family members. It is such a heavy responsibility sometimes. Nonetheless, the benefit looms larger than her occupying the second position after the father. She might end up being the most crucial link that held the chain firmly together at some point in time; seeing to the day-to-day up keep of the entire family members and standing as the pillar of emotion behind them.

Fatherhood is, no doubt being, the head of the family and the sole provider of the family. The safety, security and major decision taking of the family traditionally rest on his shoulders. The totality of his actions can be a result of impetus and influences of the other family members, especially the wife. The benefits of fatherhood are basically enshrined in his seemingly unquestionable authority and the love he gathered from the other members of the family for being liberal; delegating some part of the authority straight down below.

And childhood is one aspect of the family that bites deeper into the skin of the other members, as the embodiment that is meant to crave the attention of the rest either by mere involuntary provision or plain necessity. Thus, a father and mother are bound by the law and common reasonability to provide for their child(ren) as the case may be, and in some countries a deferring parent might ended up being punished under the laws and/or the stipulated Child Rights Act of the United Nations in colaboration with such countries. This altogether can be classified as the beginning point for the benefits enjoyed by the child.  

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Addendum…

In your own view what do you understand about the term motherhood, fatherhood and childhood in a person’s life?

Please, add your comments!