Dads: What would you do?

Still on what we are discussing, what you would do or you think needed to be done, as a father, in some situations that happen in the home. Just like before, forget about the arrangement and realities of your personal homes. Let us share some thoughts or advice about what to do in some situations lined below;

What would you do if and when…

1. You discover that your teenage son suddenly got someone pregnant, and the person happens to be your little niece?
2. Your daughter kept running away from you, claiming she has a dream where you raped her?
3. You caught your racist neighbour ‘pants-down’ with your daughter?
4. Your teenage daughter deliberately asked and begged you to be her lover?
5. Your little child walks into the room while you are ‘erotically’ and ‘adulterously’ involve with a neighbour’s wife with the light still on?
6. You entered into your teenage son’s room and saw a knife, guns and a note that says ‘pay us a ransom of $50,000 or your daughter dies’ secretly hidden underneath a carpet?
7. You entered into the room of your son, who is supposed to be in the boarding school, and shockingly found him there with a girlfriend?
8. Your little son suddenly fell down while you are both taking a leisure walk in the park. You looked at the back of his head to see blood gushing out of a gun shot wound, and behind you is another little boy staring at you confused and innocently with a gun that just went off in his hands?

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

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Moms: What would you do?

Today, I just want to sprite up your mind about what you would do or think needed to be done in some certain situations that commonly happen in the home. For now, forget about the arrangement and realities of your personal homes. Let us share some thoughts or advice about what to do in the situations lined below;

What would you do if and when…

1. You discover that your daughter’s irrevocable penchant for fibbing will eventually end her life, without her actually knowing it?
2. Your child kept running away from you, claiming you are possessed?
3. You caught your adolescent daughter ‘pants-down’ with a boyfriend?
4. Your ten-year-old son tells you, “Mum, we were taught about intercourse in our sex education class today and our teacher told us…err… Nevermind. Mum, can I please have sex with you?”
5. Your little child walks into the room while you are ‘erotically’ busy with your husband with the light still on?
6. You shockingly saw and heard on the TV that your daughter, who just went into her room ten minutes ago, died in a ghastly motor accident some streets away?
7. Your daughter comes to you saying, “Mum, I’m pregnant, and the little baby in me belongs to…err…Dad.”
8. Your little child suddenly fell down and collapse with you seriously sick and laying on a sick bed? ....do you know that a financially challenged home can raise a child properly?

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When a child tells you… “You are stupid!”

In the lives of human beings here on earth, there is freedom, indulgence and madness! It now depends on the one chosen by the individual running a home. Traditionally a father and mother are expected to be the sole runners of the home. They are supposed to be the highest authority in the home, but these days we have come to realise that the contrary has been the reality. The authorities that run the home are far beyond the parents, aside the government and the set policies. The neighbours run the home too, although most times subconsciously and sinuously. The many peer pressures that circulate the entirety of our lives also run the home indirectly and likewise our feelings at a point in time, and worst still, some infectious programmes we watch on the television, thus it is like saying the television also runs our homes!

All the highlighted authorities have their different effects and influences, some are wholly sinuously destructive when not properly monitored. Now, to break these into the primary effects in the homes, which are what we can term the aftermath of freedom, indulgence and plain madness as regards a situation that could warrant a child looking straight into the eyes of a grown up, or a mate sometimes, and saying to the person, You are stupid!

Sometimes, for the sake of love, mostly the ones we never enjoyed from our own parents, we tend to shower our children so much freedom that eventually have them misbehaving, like the freedom to speak and be spoken to, to participate, to feel and touch and so on. But as children we cannot blame them for misbehaving because they are children not yet able to discern maturely. Engaging our children in the simple freedom to life is not the worst that can happen in our home. When we show love to them, we get their attention and love in return, but indulgence…? This obviously has a very distasteful colouration from the onset. Yielding to a child’s wants and wishes could backfire in the long run, and eventually depriving such a parent(s) the love and respect of the child. And the worst of it all is… madness!

I call it madness, because it has no other meaning to it. A situation where a parent(s) or the adult not only give the child the complete freedom to life, but also indulge him or her and worst of all involve the child in interactions and situations that are diabolical. The parent believes, he or she is only cementing the child’s stands and authority, but in the actual sense of it, such a parent(s) should be arrested for attempting to destroy an innocent child’s future.   

Let us try to highlight these below;

…in complete freedom to life.

A parent(s): Whenever your Mum and I are having a discussion with a visitor, you can stay back, okay?

A child: Okay, whatever you say, Dad.

…in indulging a child.

A parent(s): Whenever your Mum and I are having a discussion with a visitor, you can stay back to put on the TV to the best and highest of your volume, okay?

A child: Yeah, Dad, you are the best!

…in sheer madness.

A parent(s): Whenever your Mum and I are having a discussion with a visitor, you can stay back to kick the visitor in the face for not sitting properly, okay?

A child: Hun?

Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

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A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

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Using cursing words in their presence. Urgh!

The use of cursing words or expressions in the presence of the child or children cannot just be termed as being bad, but indeed consequential. There are what we can class as mild cursing words and some that are highly destructive and defaming. They are complete and inhibited show of fury and expletives. In any circumstance, an adult is not supposed to use cursing words, either mild or heavy, because like every other things under the sky, it has its consequence as well. When a child from a tender age starts to use some of these words, it tells on the homes and family from where he comes.

Some supposed mild ones might be;

• Hey Johnny, are you blind, can’t you see the door is open?
• Johnny, come right here now or else I make you suffer?
• I think you’re stupid there, Johnny
• Your middle name should be ‘Master Foolish’
• Hey you numbskull do I look stupid to you?
• I wonder how you escaped being classed among the stupids?
• Are you so deaf or just stupid?
• Nonsense!
• You are foolish, you know?
• Save me some air, because you stink!

While the more terrible ones will be;

• You are crazy!
• You are a big fool!
• Get the #fcuk# out of my sight!
• #fcuk# you!
• Are you #fcuking# with me?
• You are an #ars...hole#!
• You are a #bast…rd#
• May you rot in #h…ll#!
• You are a #muthafcuking%bast…d#!
• You #nigg…r%bast…d#!

Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

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A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

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What we see, and what they see!

It is no doubt a stale story that both children and adults do not see things or situations the same way. Due to the difference in age, level of exposure and some hidden personality traits, of which some might be genetic. Children see in a different world from the adults. We are going to have a table relating these differences below;

What the adults see…	What the children see…
A spoilt child who is always asking for too much	A person that deserved to be pampered
A garrulous child that pokes his nose into everything he sees	A person that confidently and articulately expresses himself
A rough destructive child	A person that expresses himself in play, after all, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
An unkempt boy with his shirt flying out and collar flipped up	A person that simply needs fresh and should have it, after all, air is free
An indolent child that only plays with her doll all the time	A person that learns her mathematics and grammar lessons through the process of playing the teacher with her doll
A child that always poke her nose in adult female magazines and always trying to paint her finger and toe nails	A person that always live after her mother, after all, Mum is always painting her nails too
A spoilt child that doesn’t know when to use the words ‘excuse me’ when he needs to use the plate	A person that also has the right to use a plate, after all, it is in our kitchen and belongs to my Daddy and Mummy

In the above table, you will notice in the column for the Adult the subjective use of the word ‘child’ as opposed to the objective use of the word ‘person’ in the one for the Child. Submissively, the child could be seen having a larger life size for him or herself, a fact every adults should understand and thus, pays the child some deserved respects.

Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

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A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

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Just ordinary with them: A case for issues

As earlier said any adult that must understand the child to a reasonable length must as well understand the saying, just ordinary with them!

They see and believe to the best of their experiences, or exposures. The gravity an adult may attach to a situation may just not be the same with them, simply because to them it is just the ordinary, like what you do not see or know do not constitute offences. When a child comes home with a Report Card and when he or she is coming home with a Comic or a Barbie storybook might not carry the same sense of importance. In fact, the Comic or Barbie storybook might be more important than the Report Card after all. They do not have such sense or importance or relativity, except when talking about the much older ones, that actually understand the Report Card as an account of all they have done in the school over a certain period of time, and the storybook as something for one to merely pass the time. There are some issues we will be considering in the light of the above topic, that says;

1. When a child come home with a ‘failed’ Report Card: He or she is probably thinking, “I wonder why this should really stop Mum and Dad from taking me out and buying stuffs for me?”

2. When a child comes home with a blackened eye: He or she is probably thinking, “But I fought for it, Mum. And I even won in the fight!”

3. When a child comes home with a big frown on the face: He or she is probably thinking, “I wonder why people can’t simply do what I ask of them, even when they have the money. Uncle is wicked!”

4. When a child comes home with cloth so dirty: He or she is probably thinking, “I played so hard today, Mum. And I’m very happy.”

5. When a child comes home with a missing shoe, bag, pen, book or sock etc: He or she is probably thinking, “I just can’t find it, so what’s the big deal. After all, you will still buy another for me or won’t it eventually get old and spoilt?”

6. When a child comes home with class exercises undone: He or she is probably thinking, “My teacher won’t let me!”

7. When a child comes home with another person’s shoe, bag, pen, book or sock etc: He or she is probably thinking, “Look, I’m smart, Mum!”

You might notice a little trace of self-centeredness in this, there is no offence because that is what the child ordinarily is, thus Report Card or no Report Card, they were designed by God, fate and the larger situation surrounding their lives to be just that.

Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

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A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

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Dealing with a Child’s failing school Report Cards

When a child continues to fail in his studies, a parent is tempted to say the school is not competent enough or the child is simply inefficient in certain areas, but in any situation, it is more important for the parent(s) to know and understand how to deal with a child’s continual failure in his studies and in the school. A child failure can be in different ways;

   (1) Failure in general academic studies

   (2) Failure in basic arithmetic and other calculations

   (3) Failure in relating with peers and senior members of the society

   (4) Failure in simple etiquette and morals

   (5) Failure in self-confidence

These levels of inefficiency can sometimes be interrelated, thus one can be a factor of the other; turning the child into a quagmire of confusion if not adequately dealt with by an understanding parent(s) or adult. A child can be failing in his or her academics because of certain challenges from home that rendered him or her short of relating with the peers and other senior members of the society, which might in turn affects his or her morality standard and subsequently the self-confidence is shattered. This is no doubt a chain of uncontrolled misfortune for the child who is blamed for this most of the time. People easily forget, or may not even care about tracing the source of the problem, because the child is not providing enough information for them to deal with it. Some children have developed thick skins toward their home issues, in this case, such a child might not be giving out enough for the society to really understand him or her, and thus deals with her situation as expected. In the honesty of it all, the child failing situation in the school is not a high-ended situation to be dissected and dealt with, it is a part of them, which must be understood by any adult around them, that their lives are about trials and errors, whereby the errors part of them should not result in total condemnation. And in some cases, people do not have the luxury of time to start making enquires into what makes a child flips, especially in a school where there are lots of them to deal with, and of course, the adult personal issues standing as a block as well.

The Report Card is supposed to give a detailed explanation or account of a child school activities over a period of time, and parent(s) or the adult around is suppose to understand that the teacher giving the report has only reported his or her personal observation of the child as seen in the school ONLY.

The parent(s) should have a better understanding of what the teacher might be saying or, in some cases, insinuating, after all, he or she stays with the child more than the classroom teacher stays, and should better understand the facts surrounding a failing Report Card.

To be continues…

  Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

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A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

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The Child as a little “goal-getter”

Children wherever they are prefer to live and try to understand their environment as simply as possible. When the Christian bible says in Mark 10: 13-14, that the kingdom of God belongs to the children, it was a proverbial way of telling the adults that for them to gain the kingdom of God, they have to take things as simply as possible. Children have their innate psyche, and prefer to go the extra mile to satisfy themselves even on trivial things. Now, considering the child as a goal-getter is the closest we can have toward a child fulfilling his or her desire to satisfy, irrespective of the obvious challenges or hurdle he or she has to scale. That is the reason when a father who has gone to work all day, returns to see the child, most especially the daughter, dotting over him in all manners like…

“Daddy, let me have your bag!”

“Daddy, when you’re not home, Uncle Dave came visiting!”

“Dad, see I can now walk with the POP. It hurts no more!”

“Daddy, Mum picked out a fly from the soup pot today!” and so on and so forth.

They want to satisfy every curiosity of the absent member of the family as soon as possible. Sometimes, there is the competition of who breaks certain news to that member of the family first. They become a hysteric goal-getter, especially when asked to carry out an assignment and eventually told to stop without any reason whatsoever. Children at such tender age as 4, 5, 6 and sometime up till 10 are generally believed to be hyperactive, or mischievous in some cases. And this is the reason, that when a child is in age 4 or 5 you even beg him or her NOT to dip hands in the washing basin. They are always eager to assist in the home chores, but the difference is seen at age 17, when you now have to beg them to put their rooms aright, and wash in the basin. Age and exposure have simply taken away the drive to learn and experience their environment by being involved in it. They have been deprived of that innate simplicity. They are now growing into adulthood. And this culminated into a strong reason for a parent to be more observant and careful in decision makings either at home or anywhere else.

Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

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A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

“Agreed?” Then Click… here!

“Common Learning Disoder/pathologies: Schools and other learning Centres Situation”

In the last lesson we talked at length about what pathology is all about, thus today, we might not be talking much about the meaning of the word. Instead we go straight to considering the various learning disoders and pathologies associated with children learning conveniently in the school and other known learning centres. Learning centres can be a formal and an informal centre. The usual school will be a formal centre, while the Sunday school or the arabic school they attend in the evening would be classed under the informal school setting, where the tutor teaching them might not have any certification or expertise whatsoever in education. It is generally expected of parents not to neglect the child in his or her struggling world, or to leave the child at the mercy of the teacher, thus he or she lives only by what he or she was able to get from the teacher. In this case if the teacher is bad or substandard in any way the child emulate and eventually live this through the teacher.

Parents understand the deficit of a child, no matter how innate, than the teacher, and are in a prime position to positively deal with this as regard the child’s education. Some simple pathologies that may affect a child’s learning ability in the class are;

1. Attention-deficit-hyper-active disorder; In this case, the child is active beyond the ordinary expectation, and can be seen jumping around mostly without any reasonable or visible cause.
2. Dyscalculia; In this case, the child is seen extra-ordinarily battling with mathematics or any such arithmetic problems in the class.
3. Dysgraphia; a child in this situation is seen to be having a difficulty writing. He can be seen forming wrong sentences in spite of what taught in the class and also having trouble gathering his or her thoughts on paper.
4. Dyspraxia; a child in this pathological situation is seen to be having problems in the motor skills; such things as eating, writing, knotting, colouring etc are problematic to him or her.
5. Dyslexia; The child here is seen to be having problems in word pronunciation and the sounding of letters for example words like “POT” can become “TOP” to them.

And no matter how difficult a child in this situation(s) is, a parent, teacher or any adult around must never be seen making jest of such a child. Children in most cases will naturally out-grow these pathologies eventually with the corrective assistance of the parent or paediatrist in charge of the child. While those that live through it to their adolescence will thrive better when they have understanding adults around them, thus they are tutored alongside these defects, which they mastered and positively could turn around. There are cases of children suffering from some of these defects up to their adolescence and have successfully ingrained them to a point of invincibility and invisibility.

Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

Click…HERE! to find out!

A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

“Agreed?” Then Click…HERE!

“Common Children behavioural pathologies: The home front”

As sweet and cherish-able as children are, there are certain pathologies associated with them during this growing period. And if cares are not adequately taken, these diseases or abnormalities can extend; growing with them into adolescence and subsequently, old age.

Most of these common pathologies are related to those parts of the child development that are actions translated from the brain, and have to do with speech, as they are just learning to speak, the motor skills coordination and impairment relating to hearing. All these pathologies are what even a highly observing parent, or adult, at home may not notice at all at this stage in the child.

Some common definitions of pathology are;

1. Processes of a disease: the processes of a disease, observable either with the naked eye or by microscopy, or, at a molecular level, as inferred from biochemical tests

2. Condition that is not normal: a condition that is a deviation from the normal

3. Study of disease: the scientific study of the nature, origin, progress, and cause of disease

4. Disease: a diseased condition

Pathology is a medical specialty concerned with the determining causes of disease and the structural and functional changes occurring in abnormal conditions, and based on the behavioural changes in the child. Deafness or severe hearing loss in early childhood could be a typical cause for severe delay of language development. And, should be promptly dealt with through an appropriate examination by an ear surgeon or a hearing specialist. There are cases of childhood Autism, withdrawal and severe eccentricities, or early schizophrenia are now being recognized with increasing frequency by speech pathologists, child psychiatrists, paediatricians, and clinical psychologists.

Hereditary factors also encompass a great variety of genetically predetermined influences, including familial tendency to exhibit slow language development. These lesser functions in the brain could cause various damages to the eyes, the ears, having slow development of motor function; including clumsiness and deviation from normal cerebral dominance. Additional environmental causes include poor language patterns used by the family, parental neglect, emotional maladjustment, general weakness from prolonged disease, as well as various socioeconomic, cultural, and other psychological influences. Which summarily says, all these pathologies can affect a child’s behaviour; causing him or her to be unnecessary aggressive, memory blankness, forgetfulness and alienation to friends and the peers within the home environment.

To be Continue…

Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

Do you think increase IQ will help you and your child understand each other more?

Click…HERE! to find out!

A financially-challenged home can’t raise the child the way he or she should really go!

“Agreed?” Then Click…HERE!