Talking about a period in the life of a child that possibly troubles a parent; mostly by keeping them on their toes, then, it is the adolescent period!
This is the enthusiastic and worrying time for most parents, because at this time they know their once-little angel(s) that virtually keeps to their instructions and directions is now seeing reasons to act otherwise and challenge the reasonability of the parents’ instructions. Therefore, they are eager to satisfy the child by responding to all questions both the relevant and irrelevant ones. The child challenges the wisdom of the parents and displays a level of anger at being snubbed or under-sized in any way. This is what could be termed as the ‘being-par-with-them’ period; exhibited by the child towards the parents even when he or she knows the parent(s) to be seasoned professor in the areas of child psychology and development, they still raise a challenge. The various enzymes that facilitate eventual adulthood are working hard changing what the child used to know and making his or her body a strange phenomenon meant to be re-understood.
The drastic and continual increase in the body growth, shape, fluids and the gonads or sex organs are one thing that create a hidden fear and confusion in the child. He or she wants to start asking questions and looking for the right person, he or she could trust enough to educate him or her, without making jests or irrelevant comments, about the various recent changes in his or her body and life. And most times, this person is rarely the parents, and possibly in this condition, the mother for the girls and the father for the boys.
The evident changes that obviously affect the psyche and thoughts of the child are tendentious, which means, whoever is dealing with the young adults in this age frame should have at the back of his or her mind, that there is tendency for excessive behavioural acts that might be offensive, inciting and questionable. They should never be deceived or taken advantage of during this enquiry period, because eventually that will backfire for the adult to regret. Crucial information and advice should be readily available. In other words, the adult or parents should go the extra mile to research and let the facts be known that, his or her advice to the child are as a result of a length of sincere research, thus also made to understand that he or she is not the only person experiencing such differences. It is a worldwide phenomenon and of course, your personal experiences can also be used here to lighten the situation with a mild joke. Once the child grasped the message and could trust you, the job is complete, and anyone would be surprised at the length he or she will go to educate the peers. That is how they while their time and exchange information, and when having such discussions, the parent(s) needs to give them the required privacy once they asked for it.
Parents should not bother themselves and become fretful; hearing about their child’s problems from a friend, because children at the adolescent age rely more on the peers and possibly friendly adults around, psychologically trying to extricate themselves from their parents’ constant monitoring. Nonetheless, this is not a time for a parent to stop monitoring. In fact, on the contrary this is the time for parents to make sure their little angel(s) is not deceived in any way by ‘too-know- much’ friends and nefarious adults around.
At sixteen I was stupid, confused, insecure, and indecisive. At twenty-five I was wise, self-confident, prepossessing, and assertive. At forty-five I am stupid, confused, insecure, and indecisive. Who would have supposed that maturity is only a short break in adolescence?
Jules Feiffer (1929 - )
U.S. writer, cartoonist, and humorist.
The Observer (London)
Thanks and God bless!
Samuel Solomon O.
NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.
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