Love child: how loved are they?

Children may be our most important legacy in the world today and our love to them may be the most important legacy still. However, it cannot be over-emphasised that the idea behind having a ‘love child’ is different; tilting more toward the parents’ common selfishness and personal love for themselves rather than the expected love for the child in the first place, even in a contract marriage. It is, no doubt, ironical that in most cases, a ‘love child’ is simply deprived of love, and could most times as well get the blame for coming into the world at the time he or she did. He or she is seen as an intrusion. An annoying intrusion to deliberately permanent what was not meant to be permanent or elongate a situation that should have been temporal. In this context, one can submit that in most homes a ‘love child’ is a child that may not get the most love, especially when the parents are divorce or just not living together as matured grown up adults. Nonetheless, there are ways to showing love to such a child bereft of love, so as to help solidify their future and of course our future as well. A ‘love child’ in this regard refers to a child giving birth to at a time that is not planned for which could in a word regrettable to the parent(s)

I. Spend Quality time with them.
Time in itself is a precious gift. It allows you to have mutual exchange of ideas, emotions, actions, physical concerns and words that help them develop and learn to confidently communicate like every other kid.
II. Strive to be the Primary Role Model for them.
Children generally need examples to follow and model themselves after, thus, teach them practical values by personally modelling those values. Admit whenever you make a mistake and apologize immediately with all sense of concern. Create a connection between you and the child by living the advantage of integrity over peer pressure. Which in turn makes them confident enough to always come to you.
III. Sincerely Listen to them.
A ‘love child’ might easily sees himself or herself as a different in the family, and in a separated family a woe. This might consequentially have a dire effect in his or her communication with the parent(s) or an outsider. Therefore, a parent(s) builds self-esteem in them when he or she shows interest in what they say. Children generally need to communicate the pride in their accomplishments and also their needs. And, a ‘love child’ is no different. If the parent(s) sincerely listens to them, they will also grow up sincerely listening to the parent(s) and people around them.
IV. Show them Discipline…with love.
Children generally need tutelage, guidelines and safe boundaries without being unnecessarily constrained. They need to learn the value of being accountable for their choices and actions, and a ‘love child’ is not different. He or she also needs to be disciplined with love. In fact, pampering has more negativity on them unlike every other child with no such ‘tag’ on him or her. Let them know that you disapprove of any kind of disrespect and hurtful actions but will always love them as any other son(s) and daughter(s). this kind of discipline enables them to recognize the best in other people and also allows them the freedom to explore the world safely in order to reach their highest potential.
V. Encourage them always.
Encouraging words are powerful for emotional uplifting and self-esteem. The parent(s) should verbally acknowledge child's special talents and accomplishments. They need to know we recognize and support their hopes, intentions and dreams for the future. By encouraging them mentally, emotionally, and spiritually provides the foundation for living a balanced life.
VI. Communicate with them.
We all have valuable stories to tell, and the parent(s) should not exclude a ‘love child’ from gaining from the wealth of their life experiences. Of course, only the encouraging ones that can help them to shape their lives for good. Experiences shared in robust sense of communication can help them make informed decisions and avoid unnecessary mistakes.
If one could sum up all of love child’s needs, just like every other child one would come up with just one word… Love. We share love when we play a central role in a child's world of learning, discovery and understanding of his or her natural environment. The legacy of love shared will have a guiding influence on them and the generations, thus making the world a better place.

Thanks you.

Samuel Solomon O.

NB: Contributions and Comments are highly welcome.

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